You take the high road; I'll take the low, and I'll meet you somewhere they don't go.

It's weird to think about how much high school changes things.
At the beginning of high school, Taylor and Josh and I all promised to each other that we would never let anything split us apart. They were my best friends; the only best friends I really had. We were so young and naive then. We were so crazy and stupid then. Life was so simple then. Oh how things change.

Had I told myself at the beginning of freshman year all the things that were going to happen throughout high school, I wouldn't have believed it. Had I felt, at the beginning of freshman year, all the emotions I was going to feel, I wouldn't have understood it. I have discovered so many feelings, bad and good, that I never even knew existed.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to freshman year, when everything was good. It was just me, Josh, Taylor, and Emma, and things were simple. Life was all fun and games. The only drama we had consisted of my daily fights with Taylor, and we got over those extremely quickly. I was never particularly unhappy. Sometimes I'd get a bit stressed, but it was never anything big.
And we all got along. We all loved each other. There was no hate. And it was nice.
But at the same time, I never really felt any great depth of emotion. Emotions never really touched my heart. They'd sweep through my body, shallow, without really having an effect. I was never truly sad, but I was never truly happy, either. And I didn't grow as a person. I was at a standstill, not really moving forward from the person I was in 8th grade.

And then there are the people.
Back then, Taylor and I were best friends.
Back then, Emma was that girl from history who I got started on manga.
Back then, Josh was like a brother to me.
Back then, so many people didn't exist to me who are now so important. Alsatia, Marc, all the guys.... Without them, I don't know who I'd be right now.

Who was I at the beginning of high school? I couldn't tell you. She's a completely different person from who I am now. I vaguely remember that self-conscious, obsessive, pure, naive, hopeful girl. However, she is a distant memory. I've grown up.

I'm not sure I like this whole thing so much. It's so hard sometimes. I feel like there is always something bad going on, and it gets exhausting. I wish I could just escape sometimes.
But then, I remember all the good adventures I've had.
And all the amazing things I've felt.
And the person that these experiences are helping me become.
And I feel a bit better about all of this growing up business.

Life is hard, and it may always be. I personally cannot wait until I can leave this place and get a fresh start. I'm not quite ready yet; I know I still have some growing up to do. But I will treasure my experiences here, good and bad. I know that what I am experiencing right now, throughout high school, is paving the way for a great time at college. I hope that by the time I leave for college, I can be the funny, brave, smart, strong, cheerful, and outgoing person I've always wanted to be. I hope that I can learn from each new experience, and contribute it towards my growth as a person. I hope that I can always be proud of my decisions, and live life with no regrets. I hope I can use the experiences I've had to help and teach other people. Every day, I'm working towards becoming that person.