In this endless race for property and privilege to be won, we must run.

So, I've been thinking a lot lately.

About Dumbledore.
And purity.
And "pure" people. Good people. The heroines of fairy tales; that kind one that everyone roots for; the one that carries the weight of others happily.

The one who doesn't even kiss a guy until it comes to that or some horrible death.

And I dunno, I've been thinking. This may be conceited, but I've been thinking that maybe that's me. The one in your life who is supposed to remain pure of heart. I have intense compassion for all living things; I can't even kill a bug. I make it my mission in life to help others. I listen to other people's problems, and I carry them to the best of my ability. I love everyone until they show me a reason not to love them. I avoid gossip; I speak carefully; I have a strong sense of justice and right and wrong. And of course, as all of you know, I'm more pure in my experiences with (and even my THOUGHTS about) the opposite gender than the usual 12-year-old.

And maybe that's the way it's supposed to stay. The book character with no great hurtle to overcome; no evil stepmother, no poisoned apple. The pure one.

Of course, I know I'm not totally pure. I get angry sometimes, and lose my temper with people. If someone wrongs me or shows me that they're a bad person, I hate them until they give me a reason to forgive them. And instead of happily carrying the pain of others, I carry it bitterly(although I do my best not to show it).
But I think I'm as pure as today's society allows. And that I'm destined to stay that way.
Waiting in vain for my defining moment, or the Prince Charming that will never come.

But you know, I accept it. I've stopped wanting that defining moment. I've gone beyond caring that I probably won't have any high-school, summer romances. This entry wasn't to show that I'm desperately seeking a guy; it wasn't to show that you should pity me, want me to find someone.
It was to show that maybe I won't. Maybe I won't for a long time. And I'm finally okay with it.

It's so pointless. I spend like an hour painting my nails, doing layer after layer (fortifier, base coat, 3 coats of nail polish, 2 top coats) and waiting for each to dry in between, and for what? All I end up doing is absentmindedly picking off all the polish the next day. Or worse, picking half of it off and then leaving the other bits on and looking like an idiot. Seriously, I always paint my nails because I like sparkly things, but then I get bothered that my nails are covered and pick it off, or get bored and just start picking it off without realizing it. It's pointless. It's just a waste of time and nail polish.

So summer's gone. Gone, gone. I had a lot of great times, and I feel like I SHOULD feel like it was the best summer of my life, but to be honest, I kind of feel nothing. It's gotten all vague and blurry. Anything from the first 2 months feels like it happened ages ago, or during the school year. It's weird. In fact, it kind of frightens me. Am I losing touch with reality? I feel like time is drifting by, and I'm floating around through it without actually taking part in it. It doesn't feel like anything's real anymore.
Maybe the reason I'm hoping something significant will happen this year is because I want it to wake me up.

So, basically....

I've come to the conclusion that, if you want to look back and remember a certain time in your life, chat logs are better for it than any journal could be.

...Fin.

There's not a lot that I feel obliged to share, or talk about.

Hello all.

I just felt like blogging, so here we are.

At first, I wondered if I should write down my plan for the zombie apocalypse, but then I decided that I didn't feel like it. It's not planned out well enough yet. Haha.
I should never have watched 28 Weeks Later. XD

Today Taylor and I met Connie! She seems like a pleasant person, but I kind of get the feeling that she's not the type that would usually hang out with people like us. Heheh.

Someday, I'd like to make a blog that only contains my favorite song lyrics. Haha. That's lame, but I want to.

So I just found out that there's a good chance that we will, in fact, be having the play this year, so that makes me happy. I just hope I can get in! :]
I actually have hope that this will be a fun year, if I can just ignore how much my classes suck. Haha.

After all, I have lunch with my friends every trimester.
I have the musical to look forward to.
There's the choir trip to Nashville, which I'm excited about.
If we do the giant choir thing with Holt and Mason again, that will be amazing; I loved it last year.
Hopefully I'll have the play, assuming that it's happening and I can get in it.
Then there's the choir concerts and festivals and everything.

...There's a lot of fun to look forward to; as long as I can focus on the positives I can make it a great year. ^-^

Well, that's enough for now.
Ja, ne!